You can message any of your mutual matches for free. Open the conversation from your matches or inbox, type your message, and send. There are no limits and no charges.
Who can you message on me.you?
You can message any member who you have a mutual match with. A mutual match means both of you have liked each other's profile. me.you does not allow unsolicited messaging — you cannot send a message to someone who has not already expressed interest in you, and no one can message you out of the blue.
This design eliminates the most common complaint about online dating: unwanted contact. Every conversation on me.you starts from a foundation of mutual interest, which tends to make the conversations themselves better quality.
How to open and use the inbox
- 1 Click the "Messages" link in the top navigation or from your dashboard.
- 2 Your inbox shows all active match conversations, most recently active at the top.
- 3 Click a conversation to open it.
- 4 Type your message in the text field at the bottom of the conversation.
- 5 Press Enter or click the Send button to send.
- 6 Your message is delivered instantly and the other person can reply at any time.
Tips for writing a great first message
The first message is the hardest. Most people overthink it. A good first message is specific — it references something from their profile rather than sending a generic opener. If their bio mentions that they are learning to cook Thai food, ask what they have tried so far. If one of their photos is from a hiking trail, mention it.
Avoid openers that put all the work on the other person ("Hey, tell me about yourself") and avoid compliments that focus purely on appearance. The goal of a first message is to make it easy for the other person to reply. A question they can actually answer is worth more than a compliment they can only say thank you to.
- Reference something specific from their profile — a prompt answer, a photo, or an interest.
- Ask one question rather than multiple — it is easier to respond to.
- Keep it relatively short for the first message — a wall of text can feel intense.
- Be yourself rather than performing a version of yourself you think they want.
- Use the free first message generator in our tools section if you want a starting point.
Is messaging really free?
Yes, completely. There is no coin system, no per-message charge, and no limit on how many messages you can send. Messaging between mutual matches is fully included in every me.you account at no cost. You can send as many messages as you like to as many matches as you have.
This is intentional. Platforms that charge per message create a dynamic where sending a message feels like a financial gamble. On me.you, you can invest in a conversation at whatever pace feels right without worrying about a meter running.