Starting With a Relatable Opinion

Sharing an opinion in an opener is more interesting than asking a question, because it reveals something about you before they have to give anything. It creates an immediate dynamic - They can agree, push back, or ask you to explain yourself. Any of those is a conversation.

Why opinions outperform questions

A question puts all the work on the other person. They have to generate a response from nothing. An opinion gives them something to react to - Which is a much lower bar for engagement and often produces a more interesting reply. See how other opener styles compare.

There is also a confidence signal in stating a point of view rather than asking one. Most openers are questions because questions feel safe. An opinion exposes you slightly - And that exposure, when the opinion is reasonable and well-chosen, creates interest. Having a compelling bio that shows your own personality makes this feel natural.

The hot-take structure

The structure that works consistently: state a specific opinion connected to something on their profile + invite their take, either directly or by implication. You do not need to literally say "what do you think?" - If the opinion is specific enough, the invitation is implied.

"Your photo at [place] - I think [opinion about that place or activity] is the most underrated thing about it. I might be in the minority on this." That is an opinion, it connects to their profile, and it ends with a slight opening that invites a response without demanding one.

Examples by topic area

Topic area Example opinion opener Why it works
Travel "[Destination from their photo] is better in [season] - I have a strong view on this." Specific, invites agreement or correction
Food "[Cuisine/dish they mentioned] is genuinely underrated and I will not be taking questions." Light conviction, warmly absurd, easy to reply to
Books/film "[Title or genre they listed] is one of those things people either get completely or explain away - I'm curious which camp you're in." Creates an us-vs-them that is low stakes
Lifestyle "The [activity they listed] crowd is split on [specific aspect] - I have a take." Shows genuine knowledge of the subject
Work/career "[Field they work in] is one of those industries where the reality and the reputation are completely different." Invites insider knowledge, respectful
General preference "Hot take: [mild preference opinion] and I'm right about this one." Works when tied to something from their profile

Calibrating how strong to make it

  • An opinion that is too mild feels like a statement of fact - It does not create a conversation.
  • An opinion that is too strong risks alienating someone before they know you at all.
  • The sweet spot is a take that is clear and specific, slightly unexpected, but not politically or personally charged.
  • Test it: would a reasonable person who likes you still push back on this? If yes, it is probably calibrated right.
  • Avoid anything touching politics, religion, relationships, or identity - These create conflict, not conversation.

Recovering if they disagree

Disagreement is a good outcome - It means they engaged. The worst response is to cave immediately. "You're right, I change my position" after one message makes you seem spineless and ends the banter. The first messages guide covers how to sustain this kind of playful back-and-forth.

Hold your position lightly: "Okay, I can see that - What's your argument?" keeps the energy going and shows you can handle a difference of opinion without it becoming awkward. Once you are in a real back-and-forth, the texting guide will help you maintain that rhythm.

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